I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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