im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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