Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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