I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
