i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
