This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize