I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
