ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize