You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
