We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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