Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
