those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i would punch a child for taco bell
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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