I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
