I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
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there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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