Just mADE A PArabola og urine
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
