11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
