he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
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