I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
