Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
