Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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