Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
