is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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