you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
