Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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