Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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