Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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