if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he shaved USA in his pubs
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
