i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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