even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
