Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
