new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If I die, sorry about rent.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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