piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
