Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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