You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
