Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just had sex bonerless
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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