the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
