i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
