if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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