if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize