is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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