I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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