I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
