I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
