she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize