I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
