Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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