So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
