Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
