In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize