seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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