When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
