halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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