Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize